There is one sure fire way to raise the quality of your conversations with others. Forget about tone, pacing, and all the technical aspects of your voice. If you do this one thing, you will be well on your way to having rich, meaningful interactions with others.
Ruthlessly eliminate sex from your conversations.
The flirting, suggestions, innuendos, all of them. Talk about any and everything, but leave sex out -especially when in conversation with someone of the opposite sex.
You see, the human being is a wealth of experiences, a long travelled life journey, and potentially the start to a new path of your life’s own. Do not sacrifice this at the altar of a cheap thrill.
Sex is inherently interesting. It merges boldness, excitement and mystery – things that artful conversation even about the most mundane things can also produce- but it is a fast-burning fuel whose fire starts quickly and fizzles out equally fast. It seems exciting to go down that root initially but eventually you lose the bigger benefit of knowing the whole person.
Force yourself to draw out quality conversation from others, and refuse to be dragged down that route. Once you do this enough times, people will know not to bring it up, but more importantly, you will be opened to a wide other world of rich and interesting interations with others.
You do not know how many potentially life-changing meetings you have short-circuited by picking the low-hanging, poisonous conversational fruit of sex. The weight and intimacy of sex are such that once handled commonly, it does not leave without causing damage of some form or the other, however subtle or unknowingly.
I am also tempted to state it plainly that it is just bad manners and poor social etiquette to front sex so casually, but I find that many people who do this are not out to be weird or awkward. They only do this because it is what “everybody” does. Unfortunately, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes them feel, many people do not call it out.
Look at it like taking a shower. You have the right not to do it, but when you do it is better for you and everyone else. People will not tell you when you make them uncomfortable by not taking a shower- they’ll simply slide away and avoid you- while you blissfully fumble great opportunities to build meaningful relationships. I find that unnecessarily defaulting to sex and its innuendos is much like this -people will not tell you how uncomfortable it makes them.
Dear reader, I challenge you to purify your language and speak to the whole person.
It is not easy as it is something we have normalised. Yet, if you are going to elevate the quality of your conversations and present as wholesome, confident and trustworthy -someone worth giving quality time, attention and access to, you will have to trust that it is overall better to leave sex out of conversations unless that is what the conversation is explicitly about.
I find that this Biblical prescription is a good standard for quality conversation:
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Regards, Anna Grace 💕
2 thoughts on “Eliminate sex: a sure way to raise the quality of your conversation”
Wow, Anna!!!!
Thanks for this, it has cut so deep.
Guess what, I read this after referring a friend that I just learned loves reading to this blog and I asked that they ensure not to miss the article about Nekesa. Hopefully I haven’t underscored myself already!!!
Thank you, Paula, for the referral! I hope that they will love what they find here. We have a new set of stories for your friend to enjoy as well! I hope they love them as much as you do!💕